Picture source: Gone Fishing by James Neeley via Flickr

“This picture is dedicated to the late Mr. Koh Kong Boo. Mr. Koh passed away at the age of 82 while fishing on 3 April morning…his all time favorite past-time. May you rest in peace (and fishing) with our heavenly Father!”

I was at a friend’s father wake service last night. He lives a good and simple life – God-centered, Friends-focused and Purpose-driven. What struck me deeply was the eulogies given by three different generations of friends and love ones; his grand-daughter, his son, a close friend and a senior paster that worked with him closely in church ministry. I believed that when he eventually stand facing his eternal Father, he will received his crown with flying colors. As I listened intently to how he was remembered; though importantly what he has done in his living year, but most significantly for who he was to them.

That reminded me of the similarity to 360 feedback and appraisal most organization used to evaluate leaders in yearly basis.

I recently asked a friend whom assume a leadership role when posted to Shanghai.

“How would you want to be remembered?” I asked.

“That’s a good question, I did thought of it lately but I am always so busy and tied down with things…” came an almost apologetic respond.

“Why do you think this is important?” I sensed a possible personal realization.

” Well, I think at the end of the day is not what I do that matters, but who I am in relations to them does…” she revealed.

Who are you in relations to your colleagues?

What matters to you at work?

When was the last time you have connect with someone intentionally? Listening…really listen.

At ConversationCircles, we aspire to bring authentic conversation back to workplace environment. Helping YOU to find time and space to connect in safe and purposeful conversational circle. Do feel free to email me at allen@conversationcircles.sg to find out more about what we do.

Photo source: jules_lewis via Flickr.com

Recently, someone asked me: ” So what is so unique about having conversation in a circle?”

I responded by asking: “What do you want to know? The uniqueness or the conversation?”

“I mean, how can having conversation in a circle help people or team to change?”, he expounded.

“I don’t know how but I know it does…”, came my casual reply when I sensed that he is not ready for a serious and long answer to a casual question.

Last week, I facilitated a class of 15 junior executives from various South East Asia countries that spent two days keen to learn the rope of people management skills. Most came with high hopes of picking up management techniques that enable them to better communicate, manage performance and understand their subordinate better so as to lead them with confidence. But when we started the first day morning in a conversational circle with a check-in question: “How many of you think that people can be managed?”, they instinctively knew that they are in for something different they thought they already knew…

We spent the next two days in conversational circles 8 times after some experiential activities that explores these questions:

• What have I observed during the activity that I find interesting about the way I communicate?
• What was our focus in decision making when we have to agree to disagree? What change can I make even if I disagree?
• Are there behavior/s that were congruent to my present behavior that I think should change so that I can relate better?

And many more simple questions that help people to talk, think and take risk to share in the circle. The power of conversational circle is not just about powerful questions. It is the collective wisdom and respectful exploration within the conversational circle that they begin to discover answers and deeper questions. When they got ‘stuck’ in their thoughts, it is the very circle that they created help them move to where they never dare explore…with confidence feeding from one another within the rim.

We ended the two days with a conversational circle check-out . I was privileged to be in the circle with them and help them see the possibility of conversational circle. They left with confidence in leading more effectively but most importantly; seeing people management with a new paradigm — a form of relating beginning with having a conversation.